I’M MADLY scrambling to transcribe and finish my write-up even as Sophia posted, all in the sake of getting the story to a publisher, whatever publisher - and only because everyone else seems to be scrambling to do so – what for, I don’t know!

In response to her post, perfection is important, but it is not achievable, and thank God it isn’t. Otherwise, we wouldnt just have to do things – we’d have to do them perfectly. 

My take on grades is this: grades are important – it is what – unfortunately – determines our future to some extent. But I would be lying if I said they meant a lot to me. They don’t.

I’m a rebel, and I rebel against grades. They reflect almost nothing about who and what I am.

My theory is this: If you love what you are doing, just do it. You’ll probably do well at it.

But when it comes to art, if others agree with your art, you score well. If they don’t, you won’t. My experience with CS202 tells me this. I worked hard but got Cs for everything because the lecturer, the class and I didn’t agree on interpretation. But I got an A+ on the final assignment because we happened to agree. Can’t be helped. Art is art.

I have to disagree that journalists are egoistic people who pretend to care for their subjects and are only fulfilled by publishing stories.

I can’t say I care deeply about my subjects. Spending a couple of fleeting hours with someone, trying to get pictures and interviews does not help me breed deep feeling for them. Living with them as a friend and asking no questions but making silent observations might make me care more about them. But it would be unfair to say that we only want the stories and don’t really want the bond. I do.

(In fact, GO-FAR should devote one entire semester to this, without the distraction of other modules. Who knows, we might be able to produce Nat Geo-worthy material.)

But deep down, I still can’t feel the urge to get my stories published. I don’t know why, and I’m actually starting to get a little worried that my lack of ‘want’ isn’t ‘normal’.

Perhaps I’m not cut out for the sort of journalism we know. The impression of journalists that I get is a bunch of fast-moving go-getters who have to get the story out no matter what. And that getting the story out is just about the only thing that matters.

Maybe that is true, for otherwise, who would know the story?

But I can’t identify with that feeling. I like to take my time, enjoy the moment, push each pixel, edit each line.

I want to present something only when it’s really done. And if it’s not really done, I’d rather not present it at all. Not when I’m not ready to hatch a story!

But since every Singaporean-else is hatching theirs, I don’t have much of a choice. As usual, back home, it’s do-it-now-or-die-because-everyone-else-is-doing-it-already.

And that’s probably the only reason I want to go back to Laos. Not because I like the government, or the land, or the infrastructure, or whatever.

It’s because it’s slow enough for old-man-me to actually take my time and live life the unhurried way, savouring each un-rushed moment.

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And at the behest of several GO-FARers, here is what I said about grades yesterday:

But I think I should sell after the final drafts are done. Doesn’t make sense for me to sell what’s not polished. One thing at a time, and all will be well.

Hell, you mean we’re not doing this for passion? Shouldn’t we all get an “A” for that alone? I don’t see anyone who’s been slacking off. Then again, I don’t see anyone at all who isn’t busy with one GO-FAR thing or another.

I’d like to believe that grades really don’t matter, and shouldn’t matter, for this sort of module, which was why I joined it in the first place.

Don’t let the notion of grades disturb the atmosphere. Don’t even think about it. Write the stories because you want to write them. Because you love adventure. And because you love perfecting a piece of work. Even if you get nothing from it – no money, no grades, lousy grades, one dollar, no dollar. Once rewards come into the picture, it ruins the entire workflow. It influences the whole product. Keep it pure.

And that’s what I want to do. Write at my own leisure. To my own standards. I want to be the final arbiter of my work, and not let ‘grades’ decide what I should or should not do. That is why I joined GO-FAR.
And at the end of the day, “A” or “F”, nothing can take away the mind-blowing experiences I had, the great company we kept, the distances we travelled, the people we met, and the air we breathed.

So, here’s nuts to the Singapore system, and let’s try to do something out of passion without the thought of grades for once in our lives, and let it be now.